I wanted to be the north star in your sky
The one we
couldn’t find that night
Stargazing in the midnight; so many months back they almost spill over the count on my ten fingers and toes.
I wanted to teach you how to soar across the silver crescent in the autumn sky,
The blood in my heart broke a vessel working hard to try and help you see that you might get it down right,
Because I felt indebited to you for delivering me from a more broken state of mind,
I soared with heavy wings all the way up there
but a feathers length away from where gravity could reach me no more,
Then I started to fall,
And as the land neared my weatherwithered exterior
You withdrew the arms you promised in which to catch me with
Since then it’s never been the same-
You ask me to teach you how to fly,
You tell me you want to sit on the moon and talk with the stars
The countless times I’ve considered-have only resulted in countless times of taking another daring step away in a different direction.
I know that keeping my feet planted here next to you gives you a sense of possibility and light, a lovely thing to uncover-
But inside me stars are dimming,
A taking of florescence with an unpromising return.
There is an error which comes with a reliance upon wishes;
Wishes so often refuse to come true.
So here is the beforehand, “I’m sorry” for walking away.